Months had been passed. And I guess we are still friends but not close enough. We never chat again. We never talk. I am always wondering what is new about you. Many times I wanted to message you first but what would I say? Thanks to the self control I have those times.
You are still in my prayers. I admit that there are times when all I want God to do is change my heart because it feels like it is just one sided love. But many are those days that I still trust God’s best for me and hoping that is you.
Recently I heard that you are praying for someone else…again. And again, it is not me. Then I ask myself why should I continue praying for you? My heart and mind is telling me that maybe I am not really an option. But I don’t want to dwell in my emotions for the my thoughts is not His thought neither His ways my ways (Isaiah 55:8). Waiting is one of life’s greatest and hardest battles especially when you feel like the one you are waiting for is already waiting for someone else. Sometimes it causes pain and disappointment but if we really put our hope in the Lord we’ll surely find greater purpose in waiting.
This time I decided not to make it my priority. I am still praying for you and I am still praying for God’s will in my life. There is still a lot fixing that needs to be done in me and I believe God is preparing me for something greater and beautiful. Let’s hold on to His promise (Jeremiah 29:11). I don’t want to pressure myself because you like someone else again which is not me… again. It is okay… it will be okay. Because I want this relationship to be right, noble and pleasing to God. A love that is written by God.
I am praying that God will reveal to us his good and perfect will.